Times are tough and almost all of us are going through trying times in some area of our lives. Since the Covid-19 pandemic hit us things have not gone back to the ‘normal’ even now. Reports say an estimated 1 million people worldwide die by suicide every year. The estimate of global annual suicide fatalities for 2020 was over 1.5 million. This estimate was made before the pandemic. Considering the number of people who faced job loss, financial bankruptcy and grief from losing a loved one or health issues during the pandemic, we know that the real figure would be far higher.
Our generation celebrates success so much that it makes those who face difficulties, hardship and failure feel miserable and out of sync with reality when adversity hits them. Materialistic values and the ‘Me first’ ‘selfie’ culture has also pushed people into holes where they have lost ‘real’ connection with ‘others,’ their family and friends. This means that when they face adversity they find themselves ‘alone, isolated and lonely.’
A Dark Hole
Earlier in my life before I accepted Jesus as my Saviour I too went through the black hole of facing years of rejection, loss, depression and I reached the brink of suicide a couple of times in my life. As I look back I am amazed to see how the Lord stopped me from taking the final step of no return.
In one instance, He used my son who was a toddler then to tell me, “Mama don’t leave me. Don’t leave me and go!” He had no idea I was actually planning to leave him. In another instance I remember going to the terrace and feeling that someone was there though I couldn’t see that ‘someone’. Today I know that God sends His angels to look out for us. I lived through those dark years and I am so grateful to the Lord for helping me through those unbearable years.
Today when I think about how I wanted to commit suicide, my heart is full of regret and sorrow because I know how much God loves me and how much He has invested in me and in each of His children.
A God Who Created Us
Psalm 139:16-18 “Your eyes saw my unformed substance, and in Your book all the days [of my life] were written before ever they took shape, when as yet there was none of them. How precious and weighty also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I could count them, they would be more in number than the sand. When I awoke, [could I count to the end] I would still be with You.”
I shuddered when the realization hit me that suicide was the ultimate insult to the Lord, our loving Creator. He Who created us, crafted us as unique and special ‘one of a kind’ persons has plans for us and our future. Our days are written by Him and when a person commits suicide, it is like throwing the gift on the face of the Giver, the Lord.
If sin separates us from the Father and Lord, suicide invites judgment as it is rebellion against Him. Most people think that when this life is over their troubles will be over, but far from it, taking one’s life causes a person to make the final choice, of being separated from God eternally. If we instead hold on the Lord during our times of hardship and adversity as Job did in the Bible, we will spend timeless eternity with God in heaven where there will be ‘no tears‘.
No More Tears
Revelation 21:4 too says, “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
Most people think ‘No one understands me.’ ‘No one knows how much I suffer…‘ But Psalm 139:4 says, “For there is not a word in my tongue [still unuttered], but, behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.” God knows our every thought and every word before we even speak them. Psalm 56:8 says, “You number and record my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle—are they not in Your book?” God cares for us so much, He even knows every tear we shed.
The truth is that Jesus knows what suffering is first hand and therefore He understands us best. Isaiah 53:3 says, “He was despised and rejected and forsaken by men, a Man of sorrows and pains, and acquainted with grief and sickness; and like One from Whom men hide their faces He was despised, and we did not appreciate His worth or have any esteem for Him.”
Jesus Knew Suffering
Jesus was rejected, hated and suffered the worst humiliation and pain. He who could read the minds of men, could see that His own disciple Judas was going to betray Him and that all His disciples would desert Him in His darkest moments. John 2:24,25 “But Jesus [for His part] did not trust Himself to them, because He knew all [men]; And He did not need anyone to bear witness concerning man [needed no evidence from anyone about men], for He Himself knew what was in human nature. [He could read men’s hearts.]“ Yet Jesus loved His disciples and washed their feet too.
In the Bible we have many heroes and prophets who had a lot of hardship and adversity like Job, Abraham, Joseph, Moses, David, Daniel, Elijah and Hosea. Our lives have been made simpler and easier as Jesus carried all our sins and burdens on the cross for our sake. He paid the price so that we can live guiltless when we repent and receive His sacrifice as our Saviour. Accepting Jesus as Saviour gives us the freedom to enjoy special joy, peace, His great love and privileges during this lifetime and eternity with Him and His Father forever.
Broken Boundaries
We live in a fallen world where the boundaries of morals, right and wrong are constantly shifting. We have to be careful to ensure that we don’t fall for the lies and deception of Satan, God’s enemy who wants us, God’s children to perish. Proverbs 14:12 says, “There is a way which seems right to a man and appears straight before him, but at the end of it is the way of death.”
God has a set of standards, a plumbline that do not change or shift because He does not change. In Malachi 3:6 God says, “I the Lord do not change.“ It doesn’t matter how many times the world changes its standards, because it is the Lord Who is Judge and will ultimately everything. Isaiah 33:22 says, “For the Lord is our Judge, the Lord is our Lawgiver, the Lord is our King; He will save us.”
A God Who Saves
Being the loving Father Who is also a just Judge He sent His Son Jesus Christ to take away our sins and become our sin offering on the cross so that His children do not perish! John 3:16 says, “For God so greatly loved and dearly prized the world that He [even] gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, so that whoever believes in (trusts in, clings to, relies on) Him shall not perish (come to destruction, be lost) but have eternal (everlasting) life.”
Finding the Lord has been the best thing that happened to me as I am no longer alone as He is always with me. I don’t have to take an appointment to speak to Him. I can hear from Him through His word, His prophets and directly through the Holy Spirit too.
Trust in God
Our life changes when we learn the huge difference there is in trusting God and trusting man. Psalms 118:8 says, “[It is] better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.” Each of us would remember a time when we paid a price to pay because we trusted someone too much – Micah 7:5 says, “Trust not in a neighbor; put no confidence in a friend. Keep the doors of your mouth from her who lies in your bosom.”
On the other hand, we ourselves too are capable of making mistakes. I have learned I can’t trust myself to always make the right decision. It is so good that we have help! Proverbs 3:5-6 advises us to, “Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.“
When we learn to depend on the Lord, we know that we can overcome the worst of situations like Job, Daniel, David, Esther and many who trusted God did. Hebrews 13: 6 says, “So we take comfort and are encouraged and confidently and boldly say, The Lord is my Helper; I will not be seized with alarm [I will not fear or dread or be terrified]. What can man do to me?.“
Seek God and Get Help
If you have allowed thoughts about suicide to come into your mind, please seek the Lord, repent for those thoughts and ask Him to intervene in your life and heal you. Here are some resources to encourage and guide you. If you cannot let go of the thoughts of suicide, please ask for prayer or call a helpline or reach out to someone you trust.
God says in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.”
Henrietta Decruz
Henrietta is a writer, singer-songwriter and social worker based in Kerala, India. Having encountered God closely through life's many ups and downs, she has a passion to use her God-given talents for His glory and to see social change across her nation.
