Today, as I write this, it has been exactly three months since the doctors said to me “You know, you are a very, very lucky girl!”. They called it a miracle. Three months ago I ‘was reborn’. Since then every day is a new miracle for me and this is a proof that miracles do happen.
I said my mum was looking after me from heaven. I have an angel up there who protects me when I need it most. It wasn’t my time to go just yet. God decided to leave me on earth for a bit longer. He always has a plan. We may not always understand why things happen the way they happen. However, we often learn, sooner or later, that everything that happens has its purpose. You may not understand but trust God, He has a plan. It may not always be what you want but it always turns out to be for the best.
As I lay on the ground I couldn’t move but was glad that I could at least open my eyes. Everything seemed very blurry but I was grateful I’m alive. I couldn’t move but I felt that the strong medications seemed to be working. The next day, after a couple of hours of sleep, the pain woke me up. I was in the hospital.
I had tears rolling down my face when I first tried to move my legs. It was the pain but at the same time also the relief that I could move my legs. When after 24 hours I finally got up off the bed and did my first few baby steps I felt the pain but also the determination. I wanted my life back so badly. Since then it’s three months already and oh my, what a ride it has been, a ride full of miracles…
Miracles are defined as extraordinary events, supernatural phenomena, something that humans can’t explain. They are a manifestation of spiritual power, a remarkable development of events with a very welcome result. Given this that I came out of my accident with just the injuries I did coupled with my progress in recovery it can be described as a miracle. And whilst this wasn’t an easy journey it did teach me so much. It did prove that miracles can happen every day. We just need to change our perception about them. So what are the life lessons I learnt in the past three months?
8 Life Lessons that Prove Miracles can Happen in Everyday Life
1. Be realistic
Thinking about it, it’s so important and even though I know it, still this wasn’t easy. I knew the doctors said that my recovery is going to be a long process and still I tried to bash against it. It wasn’t because I couldn’t hear the doctors, nor because I couldn’t understand them. No, it wasn’t a problem with them, it was a problem with me. I could clearly hear and understand the doctors, I just didn’t want to accept the reality. Instead, I would worry about work and set me a time plan by which I wanted to be out of the bed, the house… However, it doesn’t work this way.
Although you may have a desire or try to suppress the feelings of not being able to do the things you want, it doesn’t change anything. You must listen to your body. You have to accept that when doctors say that this is going to be a long process you can’t fight against it. Otherwise it will fight you.
The whole time in the hospital I was thinking when I get home I’ll be better, all will be fine… But it wasn’t. The pain was still there. I didn’t have the medical help and the medication I had in hospital. So slowly I started to realise that it is not just about what I want but more about what I need. Accepting the reality sooner rather than later is just for the better. You won’t then be so disappointed that things don’t always go as you want them to. Being a fighter is good, the motivation to get better and the determination is great, however you need to be realistic. You need to set yourself realistic goals. You need to listen to your body, to your soul.
What is also important however, is that you need to realise that you will fail, and not only once. And this is totally fine. The failures are there to teach you. Don’t be afraid of them, use them, turn them into a success. The reality is that you carry your cross and falling down is not a weakness that you need to be ashamed of. What is important is that you need to stand up and keep going until you reach the finish line. Don’t give up – after all, you do want the miracles to happen.
2. Patience is the key
Until we get to where we want to be it will take a time. Remember healing takes time, it comes with ups and downs. Healing isn’t a linear path and you can’t rush it. This was one of my biggest challenges. I had to learn to be patient with myself. When I came back home from the hospital, it took me a week till I was able to use the stairs. I was so proud when I did it. However, when my husband asked me if I thought a week ago that I would be able to go down and up the stairs in a week’s time, I said, “I was hoping to do it after a few days”.
Why? Why are we so harsh on ourselves? Is it because accepting the reality is sometimes so hard or is it because we always rush everywhere? Being ill wasn’t in my plan… I can’t afford to be ill… How many times do we think so? But the truth is that if we don’t take care of ourselves, we can’t expect to get better. Rest is so important. I like the quote “if you do not make time for your wellness, you will be forced to make time for your illness”. It is so true. Take all the time you need. Take it day by day, little by little, step by step and slowly, slowly you will get there.
3. To recover fully you need to recover from all sides
Time however, doesn’t always heal all the wounds. Sometimes healing may require professional support. Remember your mental health is just as important as your physical health. If you need support with it, it isn’t a personal failure. It doesn’t mean that you are weak. It doesn’t mean you are weaker than a person who is able to cope without professional help. And it doesn’t make them a better person just because they didn’t need support.
Please don’t compare yourself, ever! We all are different. We all are unique! Everyone’s story is different, everyone starts at different points. It requires a strong person to open up and speak openly about their trauma. You have to remember that your feelings matter and it’s ok if you need help. It’s actually more than ok, it’s very normal. It’s important that you receive the support you need. You can do a self-referral or you can speak to your doctor or GP. There are numbers of professional networks that would be able to help, such as Samaritans, Time to Talk, Anxiety UK, Life Centre and others. They would be able to help or you may be eligible to receive help via your employer.
4. Open up, share your feelings
People may not know how you feel if you don’t communicate. It helped me enormously to open up to my closest circle and be honest about my feelings. Don’t think that you can’t talk to them because you don’t want to burden them with your problems. If you feel like this, speak to them about it. You will see that you really don’t need to worry. They love you and they are there for you. And if not, they are not the right people to have around you. Your feelings don’t make you a burden, they make you a human being.
5. Miracles of Kindness
Be kind to yourself and to others. And this is so crucial. You need to allow yourself to feel what you feel. Sometimes I had days when I didn’t feel well, when I needed alone time, when I needed to rest. You need to realise that this is all ok. This is healing. Rest is just as important as every other part of your treatment. Sleep helps us to feel better both, physically and mentally. It is beneficial for our recovery. Your body knows what it needs, you just need to listen to it. Some days I was just grateful I’m alive. You also have to remember that whilst it’s ok to feel what you feel, you need to let it go. Do not let it consume you.
However, it is also important to be nice to others. You know it – if you are nice to others, they are nice back to you. You are then even nicer and everyone around is nice… A rapport builds around you and it makes you even nicer and feel better. This reminds me of the quote “A gentle word, a kind look, a good-natured smile can work wonders and accomplish miracles”.
There were many days when I couldn’t do things myself due to my injury. Very early I realised that when others offer help it doesn’t always mean that they will do it always there and then. My husband was busy with his job, the household, helping me. It was therefore just normal that he also needed some time to switch off. I totally understood that he needed some time off and appreciated all that he was doing for me, I couldn’t do without him. However, sometimes I wanted certain things to be done there and then and in my way. Thinking now about it, I just have to shake my head – Oh, really do I sometimes behave like a little child (or even worse)?!
Surely, we are all different and therefore do things differently. Yes, it may not be in the way you would do it but who said that your way is the right way? So if you need to rely on help from others, you have to accept it. Sometimes it will be done at the time that is suitable for them and in the way that works best for them. Who said that the floor needs to be hoovered right now and from the door to the wall? I couldn’t hoover it myself so the only option was to accept that my husband will do it the way and at time that works for him. Even if I may prefer it a different way. This leads me to the next point I learnt.
6. Be grateful
Even if the floor hasn’t been hoovered when I wanted it to be, I realised that it doesn’t matter. What is important is that I am alive and surrounded by people who support me. Your priorities will change.
What also helps is to learn to accept help. You can’t do everything by yourself whilst you are recovering, however frustrating it may be. You have to learn to accept help and be grateful. What you can do however is to focus on things you can do and do them to the best of your ability. Slowly, slowly, you will make progress. Remember even a small progress is still a progress and be grateful for it. Take pride in your achievements. Give yourself a hug and be proud of yourself.
Sometimes it’s hard to see your own progress. Especially when you are in pain and are feeling that things are going backwards. Then it was usually the others from my support circle who reminded me of my progress. They helped me to see it again with my own eyes and appreciate it.
A friend of mine suggested making an achievements board and it works perfectly. I stick all my achievements with the dates on it (you can view it on IG or TikTok). It is a great idea as it allows me to see my progress over time from the first day of my recovery. This visual aid enables me to see my progress and appreciate it when I’m at my lowest. It is also a great motivator.
7. Prayer brings Miracles
Every day I’m grateful for another new day. It’s been three months now since I could say “I was born a second time”. Sometimes it feels like there is nothing positive and the depression is trying to creep in. Then I know there is always hope. I have to believe, believe myself and believe in God.
When you go through a difficult time in your life, God is always with you. Remember, you are never alone. So when you go through a tough time, pray. Pray and God will hear your prayer. This causes miracles. Sometimes when I was in so much pain that I didn’t know what to do anymore, I started to pray. And although the pain didn’t stop as soon as I started to pray I often felt relief after a time. I found myself being able to get back to sleep again.
Prayer brings miracles along with blessings. However, don’t pray only when you need God. Don’t forget to also say thank you to Him when you get better, when you get what you prayed for. Be grateful for every new day. You woke up, you are still here on this planet. And even if you don’t have a good day, you are still here and tomorrow is another, hopefully better day. Every new day is a proof that miracles do happen.
8. Do things you enjoy
This is essential as it helps you to keep positive and a positive mind does the magic. I realised very early on that I had two options. Either sit and cry about what happened to me or I could take it into my hands, be in charge and have control over it and do my best. Remember things happen for a reason. I wouldn’t have ever started a blog if I hadn’t had the accident.
It is also demonstrated to me that people with a positive mindset may be more willing to open up about what has happened to them, what they are going through. They are also calmer and sleep better. This may then be the reason why they respond better to treatment. Doing what you enjoy will help you to nurture your positive attitude. Get the most out of your days. Everything is temporary including your bad days, which is a good thing, although it does also, unfortunately, apply to the good days too.
The best approach for me was to do most things on my good days. Now, I don’t mean only things I enjoy. It means also activities that you may not be so keen on but are necessary for your recovery. Whilst in hospital I knew that I needed to move so my body, my muscles didn’t go stiff. However, it was hard for me to do when I was in pain and I showed a bad reaction to certain medications. So we had to find a balance. I would take the medications before my physio so I didn’t feel so much pain. This way I was able to do as much as possible. Therefore, do things when you feel your best and focus on the things you can do.
Don’t worry too much about the future. God has already got a plan for you, so instead live in the moment. Remember you can’t change the past, but you can make the most out of the present. You plant now so you can harvest later. You can’t run a marathon before you learn to walk. Everything has its order.
Learn to take pleasure from the little things. I enjoyed going for walks. It has also been proved that five minutes in the nature is enough to improve your mood. Whilst I was walking at a slow pace, I also started to notice more things around me. Things that I had never noticed before. I really learnt to live in the moment and appreciate even the smaller things in life.
Writing Christmas cards and thinking of all the people I was addressing them to, made me happy. Yes, it was a shame I couldn’t see them. The country was also in lockdown due to Covid-19. On the bright side I wasn’t missing too much. Everything was closed and everyone was stuck at home, not only me. So it was the best to use the time for my recovery (you would say if an accident was supposed to happen, this was probably the best timing).
Miracles Happen Everyday
Looking back at it I now understand the purpose of it. Now, don’t get me wrong… I would rather not have to go through it all. It was a very painful lesson, but I have never learnt so much about myself compared to these last three months. Everyone is saying how well I’m doing, and it is really a miracle that I’m where I am three months after the accident. However, for the miracles to be working I was praying every day that God gives me the strength that I can move further forward. That I can progress in my recovery.
I would also call it a natural miracle when a worrier like me masters patience with herself. I’m already getting so much better at it. The past three months really tested not only my patience but also my faith and my relationship. It all however survived the storm. Actually, it not only survived, it actually grew during that storm.
I learnt so much on my journey of recovery. Although I was never a negative person, this is turning me into even a more positive person. Despite all the hard times I have had to go through. I feel that with God’s help and my positive mindset there is nothing that I can’t overcome.
We are so much stronger than we think and that’s why when we fall, we get back up and keep going. When times get tough so do we… And although those times will pass, the strength we acquired will stay with us. Then even in the most impossible situations miracles can become possible. The good thing about miracles is that we don’t have to wait for them to happen. They happen every day and sometimes even little changes are enough to see big miracles.
Katy Parker
Katy is a trauma-informed well-being writer who integrates mental health and faith into her words. Katy shares her journey of overcoming trauma on her Journeyofsmiley blog, where you can access her free e-book 7 Keys To Self-Healing, A Trauma Survivor's Guide.
Thanks for this encouraging article. I found some nuggets of truth to hold onto….and apply to my healing from a car accident (still) 3.75 years ago. I never thought I’d be so changed from that time…but have seen many miracles and experienced so many people express support. For me it is the continual spine pain that nags at my mind. Being grateful to God for His care is something I find to be a strength. So many, many times it looked as if some major need was going to be ignored or dropped by a doctor, or an insurance company…and i would pray. Sometimes the heartbeat of the prayer was real weak (not much faith) and i was dispondent… but always, to date, the Lord guided in some miraculous way. It seems now like the tests are still coming…and I am wisest to look to God in faith and not be found hopeless. May He, our Lord of glory, brighten your day(s)!!